WUNDURFULWURLD.COM-- Television personality and psychologist Dr. Phil McGraw showed up on the doorstep of star baseball pitcher Roger Clemens at 6:30 am this morning, reportedly without Clemens prior knowledge or consent.
Dr. Phil reportedly told Clemens he ‘wanted to do him a favor’.
Dr. Phil has come under intense criticism this week for pushing his way into Cedars-Sinai Hospital to track down troubled pop princess Britney Spears in her room, where she was convalescing after being admitted while under extreme stress.
At that time, Dr. Phil told Spears he ‘wanted to do her a favor’. However, Spears, demonstrating a wildly uncommon streak of common sense, virtually ignored him.
Dr. Phil proceeded to put on his TV makeup and hold a stage-managed press conference at the hospital, denying that it was shameless self-promotion for an upcoming TV special on Spears and her troubles.
As for the Clemens visit, Dr. Phil insisted that he merely wanted to help the pitcher refute claims that he was injected ‘in his posterior region’ with Human Growth Hormone and steroids by his trainer.
Clemens risks missing induction into the Baseball hall of Fame if he is tainted by the firestorm now swirling around him.
As Dr. Phil pulled on his latex gloves (no doubt purloined during his impromptu visit to Britney’s hospital room), he suddenly bent down and tried to forcibly remove Clemens’ sweatpants.
Apparently he was ready to look for needle marks caused by the alleged injection of steroids and HGH into Clemens' buttocks, and planned to report on his findings on a TV special called "Up Close and Personal With A Big Studhorse Pitcher".
But Big Roger picked up half a baseball bat – no doubt the same piece of jagged wood he once threw at Mike Piazza during a game – and smacked the good doctor upside the head with enough force to fracture his skull.
Ironically, Dr. Phil is now bedridden as a result of the blow, and is lying in the very same bed Spears occupied at Cedars-Sinai.
If anyone cares to ‘do him a favor’ and drop by with a TV crew, contact this reporter and we’ll give you his room number.
Ain’t it a Wundurful Wurld?
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